Longing for something

So I didn't know what to write about tonight because frankly my thoughts have been everywhere today... so instead of trying to put all of those thoughts into something that is even meaningful...I like to share a photo with you

just the other day i can across this image.....

There is something so beautiful about this painting..... oddly enough i remember that my grandmother had a print of this hanging on her wall for many years. Just looking at it shows such longing... a desire to be somewhere where one isn't at that moment...a hope.

The name of this painting is called "Christina's World". It was painted by Andrew Wyeth. The woman suffered from polio and her only means of getting around was my crawling due to the inability to use her legs. Beyond this i know nothing of Christina. Perhaps for christina her greatest desire was to walk. What is your greatest desire? To see the world? or perhaps get married and have children? To graduate from college and find a job that you can be passionate about? or maybe you wish for the opposite to never have to work a day in your life? Maybe you just desire to be loved and to love someone? Just think about it what do you TRUELY desire. Often what we desire most we surrender all our time to... what is consuming your time? Is it really worth it? 

"If I had a thousand souls, if they were worth anything, I would give them all to God: but I have nothing to give, when all is done. It is impossible for any rational creature to be happy without acting all for God. God himself could not make me happy any other way. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorifying God... There is nothing in the world worth living for, but doing good, and finishing God's work, doing the work that Christ did. I see nothing else in the world that can yield any satisfaction, besides living to God, pleasing him, and doing his whole will." 

Johnathan Edwards from "True Saints, when Absent from the Body, Are Present with the Lord" 

Lack of Pure Joy?

Today i was talking to a very dear friend of mine. A couple months ago i had explained to her that i felt that i had a lack of joy in my life and although i deeply desired to have joy, i was struggling to find it. Joy in my opinion does not equal happiness but instead is something much greater and something much harder to attain. Joy is a much deeper and much more fulfiling than happiness thus is why i have such a desire to possess it. Everyone can find something that makes them happy. Happiness for me comes in the form of a good cup of coffee, watching a movie with close friends, receiving a good grade on an exam, or thrift store hunting. But utter joy cannot be found in the temporary nature of these things. To be joyful is to be content but not just content for a moment or even a day but to satisfied in your soul....Was C.S. Lewis right when he said" I sometimes wonder whether all pleasures are substitutes for joy."


How does one achieve Joy? or if you believe you have attained Joy..how does one keep it?

I think everyone can be happy but not everyone can be joyful simply because it is clear that joy comes from God alone through the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22). Even though being baptized in the Spirit allows us to be filled with Joy... this doesn't mean that we are always good at recognizing or even allowing Joy to be seen in our lives. There is no question in my mind that joy is attained in heaven and kept forever their in us. But i find it hard to recognize the joy in my life even today. Often i find that my only source of joy comes solely from knowing that i have been saved from death (Psalm 51:12) but to me this isn't enough simply because i'm commanded to "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is is God's WILL for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Much easier said then done... but we must strive to live in this way. I know that the presence of God in my life is more than enough to satisfy my heart.

"The sovereign God wants to be loved for Himself and honored for Himself, but that is only part of what He wants. The other part is that He wants us to know that when we have Him we have everything -- we have all the rest."
A.W. Tozer

95 birthday candles down and eternity still awaits

What is an age anyway? An integer. A classification. Meaningless? It has always been said that with age comes wisdom. Today yet again validated this for me....

Today i met a man who has figuratively blown out 95 candles. This man a member of the church i have been attending here in singapore is not only still walking but he is still driving to the market near his home on a regular basis. How does one live to be this old? Im not sure since the average life expectancy for men is 71 and 80 for women in singapore and for the united states it is 75 for men and 80 for women. Clearly this man who's name is Lau Kheng Yong has lived a full life in the sense of number of days. What struck me most about him was that not only has he traveled the world but he has also compiled these books that contain words of wisdom that have been handed down from generation-to-generation. This quotations come essentially from a life full of traveling and countless countries and people groups.

One quote i think describes his life very well....

" Life is measured by thoughts and actions not by time." At the age of 95, not much time is left for him yet he has lived a life as far as i can tell glorifying to God. The great thing is that his soul will never die. Eternity waits for those who believe....always.

Philippians 3:20-21
²⁰ But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Being taught Unbelief

Isaac Newton once said if reference to the Universe that

 "This most beautiful system could only proceed from the domination of an intelligent and powerful being." For me this seems both appropriate and precise evaluation but for many this idea is unspeakable. To say that there is a God is to say that you believe in something or in this case someone. Today i meant a chinese girl whose english name is Quincy. It was her that told me a story of isaac newton and his belief in a creator. She identified with Newton perhaps due to the respect that she had for his scientific mind. In China, she has been taught unbelief. To never believe in anything but science and that science alone can explain the smallest and most intricate organism and its origin or at least that one day science will. It was through her that i saw something else... a desire to believe. It seems as though many people are unsatisfied with no belief at all yet many will not take the task to go searching. For many a few unanswered questions seems to be better than what could turn into a hunt for truth that might be accompanied with even more questions. I wish they taught would it means to believe... all they can believe must have proof and this really isn't belief at all.

How could their be no creator......if this is true..

"More than thirty separate parameters require precise calibration to produce a life-

sustaining planet."- Robert Collins, physicist philosopher

“If we nudge one of these constants just a few percent in one direction, stars burn out within a million years of their formation, and there is no time for evolution. If we nudge it a few percent in the other direction, then no elements heavier than helium form. No carbon, no life. Not even any chemistry. No complexity at all.” - Dr. David D. Deutsch, Institute of Mathematics, Oxford University

“If the universe had not been made with the most exacting precision we could never have come into existence.” - John A. O’Keefe, Harvard-educated astrophysicist of NASA

“Most scientists speculated that the deeper they delved into the cell, the more simplicitythey would find. But the opposite happened.” - Michael Behe, biochemist

So many of the brightest men in this world saw a need for a creator to explain the utter complexity of life and our ecosystem. A beautiful and complex system of matter made only by God....

If the beauty of the world won't captivate people and question them to believe what will? Let's teach our children to believe..... and thus give them a hope

A lack of inspiration, a challenge, and a concern

So to be honest, i haven't been blogging simply because every time i sit down to i can't think what to write. Blame it on being distracted or just the lack of inspiration  but i have decided to return. daily. that's right i said it daily. even if its short and sweet. well as daily as possible considering sometimes i might be in a different country in southeast asia. but today marks day one.

What usually inspires me you may ask?
This does.......

Recently, it has been the subway or mrt as we call it here in singapore. perhaps it is because there is no subway in iowa. Something about it makes me feel as though i have become truly independent as if i could navigate this country although it is small. all the same, it gives that big city feeling and feeling of accomplishment as well as being entertaining and yet at times lonely. . I think some of my best thinking has occurred on the mrt. Riding around on this piece of steel, has not only transported me to the majority of singapore but it has also gave me a perspective of the people here. it is on the mrt where i see the singaporeans as well as what make up a million of other people that are not native to this country but have come from india, the middle east, china, vietnam, and countless other countries. Here is where i see the people of the world that up until now i had only seen on tv. They are just like us or maybe perhaps in some ways better than us. they sleep at whatever chance they get even if that means a little shut eye between two mrt stops, they give up their seats to those with children or a child on the way, they laugh, they get entranced by their iphones, they sing along to their ipods. they are just like me yet they are so very different. sounds impossible right? how can they be like me yet be not like me? the truth is that many of these people are still very lost. lost is what seems to me to be the day to day. They are caught up in the things that are meaningless only because they don't have the greatest piece of knowledge. the piece about Christ being their hope and salvation. I hope one day they all hear and believe. For now to me they are just a face, a person i will see for only a short ride to the next destination but to God, He knows each one of them by name and everything about them. perhaps we will meet again and if we do i hope it is somewhere eternal. I hope i see them in heaven up there. i hope that one day they take the trip of a lifetime to see God and bask in his glory.

Until then God will remember them one by one even the smallest of ones....

Psalm 139:1-18

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.

Five Months worth only goes about 50 lbs

I'm ready. Ready to hit the road or the air is more appropriate. My body is ready too minus the fact that i'm paler than pale. It's nearly nine pm and already i'm sleepy. I'm going to blame it on the fact that my stupid body has been waking up a hour earlier with each progressing day. Today is was 7 am and i''m guessing tomorrow will with 6. I guess i should look at it as a good thing seeing as a week from now i will be in my new home for 5 months in Singapore. Singapore is about 14 hours ahead of time compared to iowa. I guess it might benefit me to wake up a little earlier in that case. The real problem ahead is narrowing down the amount of clothing that i wish to take while still bringing some other needed supplies. All this packing and planning is really starting to wear me out. Blame it on Singapore that it's only 9 pm and i'm going to bed.

FINALLY Back from a short or long spell of winter depression

That's right.. it's called winter depression well at least something like that. maybe perhaps it is just called chemical engineering school depression. All the same i am nearing recovery and by this time next week i can officially take that much needed break from all things school. Then i will be beginning a new chapter so to speak.... it's name is SINGAPORE. I'm sure there will be much to be said about all things singapore but i will save all these moments till the proper time so as to not get ahead of myself. With that it seems only appropriate to reminisce about the last couple months or however long it has been since i have written last.

The semester has flown by yet some really exciting things happened. for one the smells sounds and joys of what can only come from iowa state football season.

I finally reached that age. the age of true adulthood. turning 21 is a milestone. Although i would still prefer a cup of coffee to a beer or a glass of wine, it still feels good to be 21. 

I love my connection group and am very sad that i will be leaving them for a short while. We make tie dye look classy. we are a pretty large group but everyone of the girls has a beautiful heart and im so proud of each of them and glad that i have been given the chance to lead them and see them grow in to beautiful woman rooted in God's word. 

Finally there is my lovely roommates. yep pretty much love them all. I'm going to miss them while in gone but praise God for skype and video messages via facebook. the laughs and the craziness will be missed 

So although on average the last semester hasn't been too eventful im sure of one thing, God continues to work in me and the people around me. He loves all of us and as it says in 1 John he calls us his children. That is what we are!